September 23, 2025, 1:51 pm
When your child heads off to secondary school it can feel like stepping onto a rollercoaster without knowing the height restrictions. One minute you’re walking them into primary, tying up shoelaces and chatting to teachers at the gate. The next they’re carrying a rucksack that looks bigger than they are and catching the bus without you.
It’s exciting, of course. They’re growing up, making friends, finding their independence. But truthfully; it’s also scary. You want them to be confident and free, but you still want them safe. Striking that balance isn’t straightforward. Sometimes it feels like you’re either nagging too much or letting them run wild.
As we all know, most parents muddle through. There isn’t a perfect formula, but there are plenty of small things you can do to help keep them safe at school and beyond.
The number one tool? Talking. Not a lecture, not a speech, just everyday conversation. Teenagers are notorious for giving short answers like “fine,” “nothing,” and “don’t know” but if you keep at it, they do open up.
The trick is timing. Some kids will talk in the car on the way home, others might suddenly spill everything just as you’re trying to go to bed. It’s not always convenient, but those moments are golden.
You don’t even have to frame it as a “safety chat.” Instead, throw in little what-if questions: “What would you do if your phone died on the way home?” or “If you had a problem at school, who would you go to first?” These aren’t heavy conversations, but they plant seeds that stick.
This is often the first big change. Walking, cycling, buses, trains… suddenly they’re on the move without you. That can feel daunting.
A good way to ease everyone’s nerves is practice. Walk the route together a few times, point out safe places like shops or libraries in case they ever need help. If they’re catching a bus, maybe ride it once with them, show them where to sit, and what to do if they miss their stop.
And yes, the classic “text me when you get there” really does help. It’s not just for your peace of mind, either. Kids like knowing you’re on the other end of the phone if something goes wrong.
Let’s face it, friends are everything at secondary school. They provide confidence, laughter, and a sense of belonging. But they can also be the source of a lot of stress.
Peer pressure creeps in sooner than most parents expect. It might start with something small like copying homework or breaking a school rule and then move on to trickier things like alcohol or vaping.
The best defence is helping your child feel comfortable with who they are. Talk about values, encourage them to trust their instincts. Remind them that it’s okay to say no, even if it feels awkward. Sharing stories from your own school days can make these conversations more real, and sometimes a bit of humour helps the advice go down easier.
And don’t underestimate the value of knowing their friends. Invite them over, chat to their parents, keep an eye on the group dynamics. It’s not about snooping, it’s about being present. Children who feel supported at home usually handle peer pressure better.
For many kids, phones, gaming and social media is where half their social life happens. The trouble is, it’s also where risks pop up: strangers, oversharing, nasty comments in group chats.
Banning devices altogether rarely works. It just drives things underground. Instead, set some boundaries. Maybe no phones in bedrooms overnight, or shared passwords for certain apps. Have open conversations about what safe online behaviour looks like: not giving out personal details, thinking twice before posting, and coming to you if something feels wrong.
And cyberbullying? Sadly, it’s common. Make sure your child knows they won’t be in trouble if they tell you about it. The earlier you know, the quicker you can step in.
Bullying isn’t always obvious. Teenagers can be secretive, and they might not want to admit what’s happening.
Look out for changes in behaviour: reluctance to go to school, frequent stomach aches, suddenly losing things, or friendship groups shifting overnight. Sometimes grades dip for no clear reason.
If you suspect something, don’t come in guns blazing. Gently ask open questions like “Is there anything bothering you at school?” rather than “Are you being bullied?” It’s less intimidating and leaves space for them to answer honestly.
Schools are required to have anti-bullying policies, so if needed, raise your concerns with staff. Don’t be afraid to push for support if you feel the school isn’t doing enough.
We often focus on physical safety, but mental health matters just as much. School can be stressful thanks to exams, friendships and social pressures.
Keep an eye on their mood. Are they unusually irritable, withdrawn, or tired? Sometimes that’s just teenage hormones, but sometimes it signals something deeper. Encourage breaks, good sleep, and proper meals. If problems persist, talk to the school or look for outside help.
There are charities, helplines, and local organisations that support young people. Even knowing those exist can be reassuring to a child who feels overwhelmed.
Some children need additional help, whether due to health, personal circumstances, or family situations. Schools often link with outside professionals, from counsellors to youth workers.
And for children in care, foster agencies play a vital role in making sure there’s a strong safety net around them. For others, it might be mentoring programmes or mental health services. The important thing is that children know there are trusted adults beyond their immediate family.
Secondary school is a whirlwind of new experiences. Independence, friendships, exams, growing up; it’s all happening at once. As parents, you can’t protect your child from every bump in the road, but you can guide them, support them, and remind them you’re there no matter what.
