January 20, 2026, 3:02 pm
When a child is struggling in school, it can quietly take over family life. Homework becomes a battleground. Mornings feel heavier. You might notice tears over spelling tests, constant tummy aches, or a sudden refusal to talk about their day. For many parents and carers, the hardest part is not knowing where to start.
The good news is that there is usually more than one way forward. Children struggle for lots of reasons, and support does not have to mean pressure or panic. Often, small, thoughtful changes can make a big difference over time.
Below is a practical, realistic look at how to help a child who is finding school difficult, without turning home into a second classroom.
Before jumping into solutions, it helps to slow things down. Children do not always have the words to explain what is wrong, especially younger ones. A simple “How was school?” at the end of the day rarely gets to the heart of it.
Try quieter moments instead. Bedtime. A walk. Sitting in the car. Ask gentle, open questions and give them time to answer.
You might hear things like:
These comments matter. They often point to frustration or embarrassment rather than a lack of ability. Listening without correcting or reassuring straight away can help your child feel safe enough to open up.
Sometimes, just being believed is the first step forward.
It is easy to focus on results because schools often do. But grades only tell part of the story. A child might be working incredibly hard just to stay afloat, or they may be disengaged because something else is going on.
Pay attention to changes in behaviour instead. Are they more anxious than usual? Are they exhausted after school? Have they lost confidence in things they once enjoyed?
Struggles at school are not always academic. Friendship issues, sensory overload, undiagnosed learning needs, or worries at home can all affect how a child copes in the classroom.
When you shift the focus from performance to wellbeing, it becomes easier to work out what support is actually needed.
Schools can feel intimidating, especially if you worry about being judged as a parent or carer. But teachers want children to succeed, and they see a side of your child that you do not.
Arrange a meeting and go in with curiosity rather than confrontation. Ask how your child is getting on socially as well as academically. Ask where they seem confident, not just where they are struggling.
It can help to say something like, “We are finding homework is causing a lot of stress at home. Have you noticed anything similar in class?”
This turns the conversation into a shared problem rather than a complaint. From there, small adjustments can often be made, such as extra check ins, seating changes, or alternative ways of completing tasks.
When a child falls behind, the instinct is often to push harder. Extra worksheets. Longer homework sessions. More reminders. Unfortunately, this can backfire.
Children who are already struggling often feel overwhelmed. Adding more can increase anxiety and resistance, especially if they associate learning with failure.
Instead, focus on short, manageable bursts. Ten minutes of calm, focused work is far more useful than an hour of frustration. Celebrate effort rather than outcomes. A finished piece of work does not always mean a successful learning experience.
It is also okay to prioritise rest. A tired, stressed child cannot learn effectively, no matter how much time they spend at the table.
School can easily become the place where a child feels least capable. That is why it is so important to remind them that they are more than their schoolwork.
Encourage activities where they can succeed without comparison. This might be sport, art, music, baking, gaming, building things, or caring for animals. These experiences build resilience and self-worth, even if they seem unrelated to school.
Confidence is transferable. A child who feels capable in one area is more likely to persevere in others.
Sometimes, progress at school begins with feeling good somewhere else.
Some children struggle because their learning style does not fit neatly into the classroom environment. Difficulties with reading, writing, attention, processing speed, or sensory regulation can all make school harder than it needs to be.
If concerns keep coming up, it may be worth asking about additional support or assessment. In the UK, this might involve SEN support, an educational psychologist, or discussions around an Education, Health and Care Plan.
Trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone. If something does not feel right, keep asking questions, even if it takes time to be heard.
Children do not leave their worries at the school gate. Family changes, loss, instability, or transitions can all show up in learning and behaviour.
For some families, this includes fostering. If you are fostering in Croydon, school can be an especially sensitive area, as children may already be adjusting to new routines, relationships, and expectations. In these cases, patience and consistency matter more than academic pace.
A child who feels safe will learn when they are ready. Pushing too fast can undo trust that has taken time to build.
Academic support is important, but emotional tools matter just as much. Teach your child how to cope when things feel hard.
This might include:
Children learn how to handle challenges by watching the adults around them. If they see you responding with patience and problem solving, they are more likely to do the same over time.
There is no prize for doing everything alone. Tutors, counsellors, family support workers, and charities can all play a role in supporting a child who is struggling.
The right help at the right time can prevent small issues from becoming bigger ones. It can also give you, as a parent or carer, space to breathe and regroup.
Needing support does not mean you are failing. It means you are paying attention.
Helping a child who is struggling in school is not about fixing them. It is about understanding them. When children feel supported, heard, and valued, learning becomes possible again, often in its own time.
Be kind to yourself too. You are navigating something complex, and there is no perfect roadmap. Showing up, asking questions, and staying connected with your child is already doing more than you might realise.
